THE GAY TAPES

We’ve all done it. Back in the day, there wasn’t better way to steal a girl’s heart than to drop a live recording of Daryll Hall singing Sara Smile (The only Song where that creepy bass player shuts his trap) alongside some 69 Boys (if you know what I mean), Eddie Rabbit (You and I with Crystal Gayle, 1982), and Axl Rose (The B Side from Use Your Illusion 1, what can I say I got lazy), title it From Me 2 U and stick it in her locker. Are things not going well, A good compilation of Air Supply is like the King James Version of Mix Tapes. Want something to go along with your hot oil massage session? C + C Music Factory will never let you down, especially combined with a little Warrant and a little known Version of Bret “the Hitman” Hart’s version of Never Been a Right Time To Say Goodbye.
I’ve even played jokes on my guy friends by making what I’ve dubbed “Gay Tapes”, and placing them in their cars, cd cases or, in today’s world, their MP3 players. I’ve done it a hundred times. A friend finds a CD in on his seat titled “I-C-U” . His first reaction is always one of flattery. “Wow” he thinks, “I wonder who did this?” He Pops it in the player, and is on his way.
1. Tainted Love-Soft Cell ( he doesn’t know what to think, but he likes it)
2. Relax –Frankie Goes to Hollywood ( He smiles, she could be Randy)
3. Word Up-Cameo ( I know, we all like this song…this one is about confusion. The dude wore a Codpiece, trust me, it’s gay)
4. West End Girls-Pet Shop Boys (He’s going to be singing along to this one. Imagine him riding in his car using a fake British Accent; Sometimes….. you betta off dead, there’s a gun in your hand and its pointed at your head, you think your mad, but your really unstable, your kicking down chairs and you’re knocking down tables….In a restaurant…..in a western town.)
5. Believe –Cher (He’s so into it by this point he shrugs and just goes with it. This is when the Dash Cam you’ve installed really gets funny)
6. What A Man-Salt and Peppa (Now we’ve got hard evidence and still This song could be from her to him right?)
7. Conga-Gloria Estefan (Everybody…..Gather Round Now…We’re about to bitch out our friend!)
8. I’m Comin Out-Diana Ross (It flashes before his eyes, he hits skip fast, only to find)
9. Shake Your Bon Bon-Ricky Martin (Oh Shit he thinks, it’s too late)
10. Its raining Men –Weather Girls (You Tube, Here we come)